Healing From Emotional Pain!

Heal the emotional pain

An Electronic Mental Health Newsletter from Joel I. Kimmel, Ph.D., P.A. & Associates                                 Volume 18, Number 5

Many of the people who come to see us professionally are suffering from emotional pain. While they may have physical distress, many don’t. They come because they hurt in one way or another. These patients are wise enough to know that they need professional help.

Emotional pain is an intense feeling of distress, anguish, or suffering that originates from non-physical sources. This type of pain stems from events or circumstances that hurt us deeply on the inside. It can feel as strong as physical pain and may even cause physical symptoms throughout the body

Almost all of us have felt significant hurt or even trauma in our lives. Some of us have experienced the death of a loved one, a relationship breakup, divorce, the loss of a job, etc. If we don’t heal from these hurts, we can have substantial problems throughout our lives.

This month’s e-Letter is about Healing From Emotional Pain! Dr. Kimmel’s blog is about Enjoying the Summer and can be found here.


All of us have suffered with some type of pain. Physical pain can be quite debilitating but so can emotional pain.

Many of us have also experienced major emotional situations that have left us traumatized, anxious, guilty, and/or depressed. While physical pain may be eliminated by medications, surgery, or other treatments, emotional pain cannot.

Emotional pain is often masked with alcohol, drugs, and prescription medications. But the hurtful events that caused our pain get fixed in our minds and affect our daily functioning. They always seem to be there, in our memories and our thoughts.

Hurt often comes from a loss of loved ones, of a job, of a relationship, of our sense of self protectiveness, or of something else that is significant. In response, we feel anger, grief, anxiety, guilt, depression, and shame.

We may try to suppress the anger but it can flare up easily We may try to mask our hurt with eating/overeating the wrong foods, by gambling, or by using alcohol and drugs. We may also become indifferent and look to others to make us feel better.

Letting go of emotional pain is not easy. It requires understanding and a desire to let go. It also requires acceptance and forgiveness. We experience the pain because we allow ourselves to be attached to it. Holding onto it doesn’t accomplish anything but makes us miserable.

In letting go, we need to cut the mental cord that keeps us attached. We will remember the event, but we do not have to experience the emotion tied to the event. We need to let go and accept, even if we think we can’t.

This action will strengthen us and allow us to move on in our lives. All we can do is acknowledge that it happened and learn from it. Acceptance of the hurt comes from thinking differently. It is the realization that things don’t often go the way we want them to. But why should they? Sometimes, we just cannot affect the outcomes.

Letting go of emotional pain also involves forgiveness, of ourselves and others. Holding resentment keeps us tied to those who hurt us. Forgiveness allows us to untie that bond and be free. It is not easy to forgive but doing so will allow us to let go.

When we can let go of emotional pain, we will have developed a strong sense of ourselves, feel freer to enjoy life, and can grow and evolve. By letting go of the past, we embrace the future.

We offer the following information:

Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is by letting go…Herman Hesse


  • We all have positive and negative feelings that we can either hold onto or let go
  • Letting go allows us to become stronger and to grow and evolve
  • As humans, we develop emotional habit patterns which define us; by not letting go, we live our daily lives accustomed to and expecting negative feelings
  • Unresolved emotions such as anger, sadness, grief, and anxiety often affect our physical functioning and take a toll on our bodies
  • People who hold onto emotional pain also frequently relive their negative experiences; they get stuck in their hurt and continue to reexperience the emotions
  • When hurt, we often blame others and ruminate about it; we expect them to apologize or acknowledge that they hurt us and most often, they don’t
  • Letting go of the pain involves accepting what happened and making peace with it


  • Change what you can and accept the things you can’t
  • Be aware of your negative thoughts and give yourself permission to heal
  • Apologize to yourself and others
  • Recognize that neither you nor others are perfect and will make mistakes
  • Eliminate perfectionism and accept yourself, flaws and all
  • Take care of yourself by setting boundaries, saying no to others, etc.
  • Eliminate your self-limiting beliefs; rather than “I can’t do that”, say “I will do that”
  • Recognize and accept that you will make mistakes but learn from them
  • Make room for new experiences as holding onto emotional pain will prevent you from embracing new opportunities
  • Practice mindfulness techniques, like meditation or deep breathing, which will reduce your emotional pain
  • Sometimes just changing your environment can help in letting go
  • Just as you’d consult a healthcare professional for physical pain, consider seeking professional support for emotional pain

Call us at 954 755-2885 or email us at [email protected]
                               Joel I. Kimmel, Ph.D. P.A. and Associates
                                5551 N University Drive, Suite 202
                                Coral Springs FL 33067

As always, we are interested in your thoughts. If you would like to respond to this e-Letter, email your comments to [email protected] and we will publish them next month.

Till June…

The information provided in this electronic newsletter is not a substitute for professional treatment. It is the opinions of the writers and is provided solely for educational purposes. For mental health care, seek a qualified professional.

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Copyright © 2024 by Joel I. Kimmel, Ph.D. P.A. and Associates.